You'll hardly believe it, but we're back after an extensive research trip. Sandy and I are exhausted, and you'll understand when we tell you what we've been researching. We've been researching a new competitor. Check out these a-holes: 
http://www.f-shirts.org
At first we were worried because at first glance they seem to be more hip, and possibly French, but after months on the field doing research, Randy and I realized there's nothing to worry about. In fact, there's hardly any competition at all, because F Shirts Dot Org only has TWO colors for their f-shirts, and we've already got five at Tuna Crystals. And we've got way more types of clothes in general, too, with the option to put pockets on ANY of the options as well. And if that's not enough to keep the loyalty of our fans shifted towards us at Tuna Crystals, F Shirts Dot Org are selling THEIR f-shirts for FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Can you believe that? Our f-shirts are four hundred dollars cheaper! There's no WAY they'll last in this competitive market! I can't even see why they are trying! Ha! Take it from me and Sandy: Tuna Crystals is here to stay! Don't ever doubt that. Mark our words. 

Keep on spreading love, all you loyal Tuna Crystals fans, and we'll be here to spread it, too.
Randy Sandy and Sandy Randy

Well, all the other employees but me are still on vacation it seems, but boy, do I need a vacation also now, even though I recently just had one in the safari in Africa on the fishing trip I talked about earlier. Someone's gotta work though, right?! If no one works, no work gets done, it's that simple, it's one of the basic principles in economics, so I'm stepping up to the metaphorical plate because work is like sales, in that it is no different an animal than a ball game is, and I'm swinging away, getting home runs all day! And I'm swinging to you, dear readers with a new memo. We've got two new paintings on Tuna Crystals. Check them out after clicking on the Odds tab languorously. One is exercised themed, while the other is themed around the 1996 American comedy-drama sports romance lively fiction film starring Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding, Jr. (Who I like best hands down) and Renee Zellweger (Who I don't care for.) I could spend all night on my reactions to that catchy film, but I've gotta watch it again right now! You catch something new every time you watch that very special movie. So do yourself a favor and go out to every one of your local thrift stores, buy all the Jerry Maguire VHS tapes you can find, give them all a watch because they're all special, and send them the address on this page: http://www.everythingisterrible.com/p/maguire-watch.html

...hamburgers now than ones that don't! What I mean to say is that under the "Studies" tab there are a surprisingly disproportionate number of hamburger studies than almost any other types of studies. Eight new illustrations today, and, surprisingly, six of the eight are relating to either hamburgers or cheeseburgers. A notable amount of which are hamburger themed. Hamburger or cheeseburger. 

Well, all the other employees are on vacation right now and I think it's unfair, because, on the one hand, I did take a long vacation to go on the fishing trip in the safari in Africa with short notice, but I feel that everyone else would have just had to have done the same thing if the opportunity came up for them and they were lucky like I got and they had been in my shoes. It seems like everyone's sorta revolting against me. I mean it wouldn't be much of a big issue at all even, but they've all been real mean about it. On the other hand I understand that we all need breaks, but on one hand it seems fishy that they'd all want a break at the same time, and that I'd be left here, hanging metaphorically. It's so fishy, like I said. It's not so bad since the chairs are really comfortable, so I choose to be here most days anyways, but I do like the company, even if all the staff at Tuna Crystals do get tiring to be around.

Sometimes I don't know what to think anymore. I wish there was just a simple series of answers I could just plug in to my individual situation. I just don't know anymore, nothing is as easy as I want it to be. Not even is doing the laundry easy for me anymore, because my washing machine I think is broken. The laundry all comes out soapy, and if I dry it anyway, all my suits and dresses are just covered with crusty detergent. Do any of you know how to fix that? Let me know if you have any ideas for me to have. 

Best, 
Joy