I know what you're thinking: "Kev, I thought you went on to start pursuing your ice fishing career full-time! What are you doing back here on Tuna Crystals announcing a new situation?" So please let me explain myself: Yes, I did go to start pursuing my ice fishing career full-time, and it's awesome, but also, even with full time 40 hour-a-week jobs, there's still upwards of 70 other hours left in each week. 40 of my 70 extra hours go to self-maintenance things like laundry or going shopping, so that leaves me still with 30 hours, and I spend some of those relaxing, but that still leaves some left over for Tuna Crystals, I've discovered. I'm going to be the bigger man here, and not argue back with Joy, so I'll skip over that whole thing. Anyways, the new radio drama is arguably as heart-felt as the last one, but instead of being in a shopping mall, this drama is in an awesome diner. And Tuna Crystals found two totally rad people to act in the new radio drama: Skyler Nowinski does the voice of Chester and Daniel Dukich does the voice of Paulie. It will feel like you're really there in a spy situation, you won't even believe it. Check it out. 
Well, I am still juggling a lot, maybe I underplayed that fact a smidge, but I gotta get going. I'm not super late, but I am definitely a little late, and where I'm going they're pretty cool, sometimes they're late, too, so usually it works out. 

Peace out guys!
Kev

Well, things have certainly settled down here at Tuna Crystals, after the previous dramatic entries you were hearing from us and most specifically you were hearing from me, and a lot of things cooled way way down. Most of the tension was caused by Kevin, it turns out, and since he's gone now while he inevitably, and indefinitely, is pursuing his ice fishing career, the tension melted off like glacial meltoff in the safari heat. I never liked Kevin, he was always BICKERING. Bicker this, and bicker that. Bicker this and that. Bicker, Bicker, Bicker! I'd always find myself saying, "Get it together Kev!" Both under my breath and while I was screaming. Now he's in the right field, because if you ask me, it's way harder to bicker with ice fish than with regular hard working Trishas and Travises/Jims and Janes/Randys and Sandys like us at Tuna Crystals. Good riddance. Bye Kev! I hope he reads this. I hope you read this Kev. You know how nasty you are and how much you like bickering. 
Well, I'm going to be the bigger person here and stop all this bickering that Kev would do. I'm just going to tell you that we were kinda seeing each other for a little bit there, and jeez would he just bicker and bicker. "Gimme another sandwich.... this sandwich is BURNED!... We need napkins... These are the SQUARE toothpicks, why aren't these ROUND?! I asked for MELTED cheese on cold spaghetti. This cheese SUCKS!" Oh brother. Give it a rest Kevin. 
But more on the good news front, he couldn't have ever been replaced by a finer, more dapper gentleman than Tony who took his place. Tony's a sharp tack, a round marble and he's a good staff member and he's funny and tall. Kevin was a short little guy and not very handsome. And he always smelled like fish, which is fine, but he should have at least had work clothes that he would wear at Tuna Crystals and not his stinky fishing clothes. He would always bring in the fish that he would catch the night before to work the next day for lunch break, and he would offer to share it which was nice, because he could be a gentleman at times, but he would cut them up right there on the same table that I would be doing my taxes or eating egg salad. It just got old is what I'm saying. I'm just glad he's gone. 
Well anyways, here, I'm going to introduce a couple new sections on Tuna Crystals. One of which is not quite fully baked in the metaphorical ideas oven, but you'll see it in a little while. It's my pleasure to explain here the expansion we're undergoing. First of all, Tuna Crystals is going to soon be including Parties in it's overall collection. Thanks to everyone who made the first party a success. Secondmost, Tuna Crystals is now including Radio Dramas. The first radio drama tells the tale of two protagonists who go to a shopping mall in search for some items, but what they find may leave the viewer reaching for the tissues, honestly, because they find friendship or maybe they had it all along. That's for the listener to interpret.
So now after this glob, you know just how far a little blame can take a business in the wrong direction: AKA Kevin. He would just blame everyone for what he was doing all wrong, and it showed drastically negative in sales, and at the end of the fiscal year, when we were negotiating our various budgets, the numbers didn't quite add up, and I have a feeling he was 'skimming' some of the Tuna Crystals savings into HIS fishing budget. It was a low blow, below the belt by our groins if you ask me. Tuna Crystals money is Tuna Crystals money, and that's how it should always be. So, readers, we're back on track over here and thanks for reading. It's smooth sailing like a butter boat with pretty sails. 

Love, 
Joy

Hey everyone, my name is Tony and I'm new here to Tuna Crystals if you're wondering. Kev's going on to pursue his ice fishing carreer and I just wanted to say thanks Kev, and jeez do I have some big shoes to fill to say the least. That Kev set some pretty high standards. Kev's like family to me. On the family note, my uncle was a tree consultant until he found out, accidentally actually, that he was super good at bowling, and he joined a professional bowler's circuit and has been making a living that way. Talk about big shoes to fill! And my aunt, unrelated to that uncle, had lots of odd jobs. She was sometimes a guest lecturer for planetariums and sometimes for aquariums, pretty renowned in those realms and fields. Actually, maybe you've heard of her. Her name is Gretchen Kludger and she'd always say under her breath, "Win at all costs, Tony" kinda as a joke, but I came to realize as I got older that she was mostly being serious. Her first husband, I still call him Uncle Kludger, was a popsicle farmer. Now of course he didn't grow finished popsicles, but he did grow all the ingredients, like different sugars and limes, which he arranged with certain processes into some of the best popsicles you'll ever taste. He also made commercials - you might remember his tagline for a memorable laundry commercial, when he said, "The official laundry detergent of sports!" and then he winked at the camera which then moved over to his right a bit and zoomed over to a bikini volleyball match, and then over a little more to a really intense ping pong match that went on forever. Big shoes to fill. So you could say I'm on tall shoulders, and I just want to make my family proud, and they're super happy I got this job because I've been delivering pizza's as long as I can remember. They wanted me to become a continuity director, but I didn't think I had it in me, and not surprisingly, my old man is decently happy with me working at Tuna Crystals. Mom is, too. 
So now that you know a little bit about me, I'll let you know a little bit about what's new with Tuna Crystals. We have a new "videos" section. In one Tuna Crystals video, an acclaimed plant salesman knows the plants you would like to own. That can be seen here. Another is a time-lapse video of the making of the mural called "Weary Travelers: Time Consumers" which can also be seen here. That one has a hit single by the band Puny, who can be listened to here. We usually don't like to promote anyone other than ourselves here at Tuna Crystals, but you can check out Puny if you'd like. And last but not least, there's a new tall painting of a sheep and two people repelling down a long thing in the "Odds" section.
My dad does all the laundry at my house, it's kind of funny actually, because my mom NEVER does laundry. Sometimes I think she'd sooner die than do laundry. :) Haha, probably not actually, she might do laundry if NO ONE else was doing it for a LONG time.
Well, I'll let you know more about my family with my next entry, because they're actually pretty cool people and they can be really funny, but they're also pretty strict if they need to be. 
I'm so happy to be on the Tuna Crystals team! I couldn't sleep at all last night I was so excited. So maybe next entry I'll be a little more rested and energetic. We'll see if I ever sleep again, because I can't ever see myself getting less excited! 
Very cool. I'll be around. Shoot me a message or something, maybe we can chill sometime.

L8r. 
Tony

Hey this is Tim Robbins again. I know I haven't been around for a while, but in my defense, there hasn't been too many murals to introduce lately for Tuna Crystals. There's a new one however, and it's called Weary Travelers: Time Consumers and it reminds me a lot of when I was in the movie Jacob's Ladder. I had a lot of quotes in that movie, and I've arranged some of my favorite quotes that I said into a possible conversation that the tall lady and the short dog in the mural might be having. It goes like this:
Dog: "Something's happening."
Lady: "This isn't happening."
Dog: "I'm alive."
Lady: "Yeah? What for?
Dog: "Am I dying, Louie?"
Lady: "Dead? No I just hurt my back, I'm not dead."
Dog: "You're a lifesaver, Louie."
Lady: "Show's how little you knew."
Dog: "Look what I got."
Lady: "Yeah, what for?"
Dog: "Look what I got."
Dog: "Where do you think Jezebel came from?"
Lady: "Home."
Dog: "Yeah? What for?"
Lady: "I just hurt my back."
Dog: "Am I dying, Louie?"
Lady: "They weren't human."

There was so many more quotes that I had, but I don't want to go on too long right now, because once again, it's getting really late! I'll keep you posted, because like I said, I have so many quotes it's outrageous, so you'd better stay tuned and I'll fill you in on things you're missing out on about me!

Glad you're all out there listening!
Tim

Hey Guys! It's Kevin here again! I've been ice fishing full time, making ends meet that way so I've been reducing my hours at Tuna Crystals massively, if you've been wondering about why I've been absent from globbing for so long. I've been training a new employee, though, to take my place. You'll see what I mean later. I'll give you a clue: His name's Tony. 
Well anyway, I'll be making some announcements here and there, so I'll be around, don't worry. Like this one for example:
Today's announcement: 
As you'll see on our home page, there is a showing of our heartfelt products on January 25th in St. Paul, Minnesota. Check this link out for the info. Or just look at our home page. Either one works best for me. And remember to always take it easy.

Peace out!
Kev 

You'll hardly believe it, but we're back after an extensive research trip. Sandy and I are exhausted, and you'll understand when we tell you what we've been researching. We've been researching a new competitor. Check out these a-holes: 
http://www.f-shirts.org
At first we were worried because at first glance they seem to be more hip, and possibly French, but after months on the field doing research, Randy and I realized there's nothing to worry about. In fact, there's hardly any competition at all, because F Shirts Dot Org only has TWO colors for their f-shirts, and we've already got five at Tuna Crystals. And we've got way more types of clothes in general, too, with the option to put pockets on ANY of the options as well. And if that's not enough to keep the loyalty of our fans shifted towards us at Tuna Crystals, F Shirts Dot Org are selling THEIR f-shirts for FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! Can you believe that? Our f-shirts are four hundred dollars cheaper! There's no WAY they'll last in this competitive market! I can't even see why they are trying! Ha! Take it from me and Sandy: Tuna Crystals is here to stay! Don't ever doubt that. Mark our words. 

Keep on spreading love, all you loyal Tuna Crystals fans, and we'll be here to spread it, too.
Randy Sandy and Sandy Randy

Well, all the other employees but me are still on vacation it seems, but boy, do I need a vacation also now, even though I recently just had one in the safari in Africa on the fishing trip I talked about earlier. Someone's gotta work though, right?! If no one works, no work gets done, it's that simple, it's one of the basic principles in economics, so I'm stepping up to the metaphorical plate because work is like sales, in that it is no different an animal than a ball game is, and I'm swinging away, getting home runs all day! And I'm swinging to you, dear readers with a new memo. We've got two new paintings on Tuna Crystals. Check them out after clicking on the Odds tab languorously. One is exercised themed, while the other is themed around the 1996 American comedy-drama sports romance lively fiction film starring Tom Cruise, Cuba Gooding, Jr. (Who I like best hands down) and Renee Zellweger (Who I don't care for.) I could spend all night on my reactions to that catchy film, but I've gotta watch it again right now! You catch something new every time you watch that very special movie. So do yourself a favor and go out to every one of your local thrift stores, buy all the Jerry Maguire VHS tapes you can find, give them all a watch because they're all special, and send them the address on this page: http://www.everythingisterrible.com/p/maguire-watch.html

...hamburgers now than ones that don't! What I mean to say is that under the "Studies" tab there are a surprisingly disproportionate number of hamburger studies than almost any other types of studies. Eight new illustrations today, and, surprisingly, six of the eight are relating to either hamburgers or cheeseburgers. A notable amount of which are hamburger themed. Hamburger or cheeseburger. 

Well, all the other employees are on vacation right now and I think it's unfair, because, on the one hand, I did take a long vacation to go on the fishing trip in the safari in Africa with short notice, but I feel that everyone else would have just had to have done the same thing if the opportunity came up for them and they were lucky like I got and they had been in my shoes. It seems like everyone's sorta revolting against me. I mean it wouldn't be much of a big issue at all even, but they've all been real mean about it. On the other hand I understand that we all need breaks, but on one hand it seems fishy that they'd all want a break at the same time, and that I'd be left here, hanging metaphorically. It's so fishy, like I said. It's not so bad since the chairs are really comfortable, so I choose to be here most days anyways, but I do like the company, even if all the staff at Tuna Crystals do get tiring to be around.

Sometimes I don't know what to think anymore. I wish there was just a simple series of answers I could just plug in to my individual situation. I just don't know anymore, nothing is as easy as I want it to be. Not even is doing the laundry easy for me anymore, because my washing machine I think is broken. The laundry all comes out soapy, and if I dry it anyway, all my suits and dresses are just covered with crusty detergent. Do any of you know how to fix that? Let me know if you have any ideas for me to have. 

Best, 
Joy 

Hey this is Joy, and no I haven't dumped my duties if that's what you thought due to my recent absence. I was participating in a fishing journey in a safari in Africa. I'm back doing my duties here letting you know about the new clothes we make. We've had so many requests for different types of clothes so finally we got with it and had to make a "Clothing" tab, under which the f-shirts subsequently got filed, consequently. Thanks for your understanding and patience in the matter, because rapidly growing businesses doubtlessly need to rearrange things both in their real homes and in their internet homes to adapt to the new situations and lifestyle arrangements they continually find themselves in. 

So, to get done with the suspense already, our new clothing options are as follows:

Lowercase T-Shirts
Longsleeve F-Shirts
Pocket T-Shirts
Custom Clothing for Fans

The long-sleeved f-shirts in brown are a slightly different shade of brown than the brown lowercased t-shirts. We're working overtime on getting brown included in the color options for regular f-shirts but for some reason, that's hard to do. So we'll be sure to post that change as soon as it happens, so please frequently check back here if you are one of the dozen people who keep emailing about when we'll get brown regular f-shirts in stock. For now, you can still order purple f-shirts, orange f-shirts, red f-shirts, blue-green f-shirts, and yellow f-shirts, but the yellow f-shirts are running low in our stock. Yellow dye prices are going through the roof, so when you order one from the next batch, don't be surprised if the price has gone up. There's nothing we can do about the economy except for bask in it like a lizard. 

So take care.
Joy

You'll hardly believe it, but we're writing as a couple on behalf of Tuna Crystals! Our names are Randy Sandy and Sandy Randy. I'm Randy Sandy, he's Sandy Randy, and we've got a lot to say today. Today, on September 11th, it is a beautiful, balmy day, it seems like nothing's wrong in the whole world, and Tuna Crystals is releasing even more things! The first of which is called Fan Mail, which is a collection of all the mail we receive from loyal fans around the whole world who just want to see us strive and be happy. There's so much love all around and love is a good thing to spread, because love is a seed, like any plant, and it grows and grows if you feed it soil, sunlight, and water.
We feel really lucky to be able to also present you today with three new paintings. They have no cohesive theme and have been filed under the "Illustrious Illustrations" tab under a tab called: "Odds." One has a plasma donation theme, while the other two are pizza themed.
So that's all we have to say today, but, as new staff members, you'll find Sandy and I here every time there's new things with no cohesive themes to introduce. Also you'll find us when there's new fan mail from all around the world for you to see.

Spread love like the beautiful flower that it is!
Sandy Randy and Randy Sandy